How Love And Money Are Related [9 Scientific Facts] Ichaku [Perfect Gifts Selection]

How Love And Money Are Related [9 Scientific Facts]

It is thought that money is earthly and feelings are sublime. But research shows that the two are firmly interconnected.

We researched them for this story and compiled a list of scientific facts about how money affects love, marriage, and relationships.

Married men earn more than single men

Over the past forty years, scientists have found much evidence that marriage is a financially profitable venture for men. On average, married men earn 10-20% more than single men.

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There appear to be several reasons for this. First, a family provides an incentive to earn more. Second, men with initially higher wages are more likely to get married. And, of course, an important role is played by the wife's help in the home, which allows you to devote more time to work.

As for the impact of marriage on women's incomes, the data vary. An American study based on the data of 12 thousand people showed that marriage increases the level of income of women, too, but there are many studies that showed just the opposite result.

Your partner's financial behavior affects your sense of happiness

University of Arizona researcher Melissa Carran surveyed more than 500 young people in romantic relationships.

She found that feelings of life satisfaction depend on how wisely the romantic partner handles money. If a person believes their couple's financial behavior is rational, it increases happiness levels. Conversely.

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Carran suggests that partners' irrational spending does not, in and of itself, affect feelings of life satisfaction. It's more complicated than that. Rather, they reflect on a person's own behavior: for example, leading to avoidable expenses. And the fact that their own financial instability - the cause of unhappiness, a scientific fact: we told about this in another story.

The researcher calls romantic partners and parents agents of financial socialization because they have the strongest influence on a person's financial behavior. If you don't see them as role models for financial literacy, Carran recommends hanging out more often with others whose attitudes toward money will set an example for you. It is likely that some habits can be adopted. And another of her recommendations is to talk to your partner about money.

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Discussing financial issues makes a marriage stronger

Money evokes strong emotions in almost every person. Often it is negative: fear, anxiety, and shame. Because of this, many people prefer not to discuss financial matters. The taboo persists even when it comes to married couples.

Discussing financial issues helps to set common goals and get closer, which strengthens the relationship as a whole. And sometimes it gives a chance to talk about something more. As Melissa Carran explains, financial issues are often not just ways of running a budget, but also a matter of power and control. Discussion can help a couple mark comfortable boundaries.

But it's not just that sincere conversations about money strengthen the relationship. It's also that financial decisions that are discussed as a couple tend to be better than those made alone. Research has shown that discussing purchases and investments as a family leads to less unnecessary risk taking, more savings, and less exposure to stereotypes and cognitive distortions.

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For the first conversation about money to succeed, psychologists recommend starting with general questions rather than specific spending questions. If common values and financial experiences are discussed, it will allow you to understand your partner better. It's worth sketching out your own list of questions, but here are a few from the psychologists' list:

- What's the best financial advice you've ever received?

- What are your long-term financial goals?

- Could you handle big, unexpected expenses right now? Do you have a safety cushion or someone you could turn to for help?

- Are you satisfied with the amount you are currently saving?

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Each thinks he or she is better steward of money than the other.

Misunderstandings lead to another problem: Married couples often have distorted perceptions of each other's financial behavior. A study in the U.S. magazine Money found that often everyone thinks they do more for the financial well-being of the family. For example, 75 percent of men believe they are the ones with the most advanced budgeting skills in their family, while 69 percent of women feel the same way about themselves.

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There are many more inconsistencies. Wives tend to overestimate their husbands' fear of losing their jobs, and husbands vastly underestimate their wives' ability to make good decisions. Only 42% of husbands said their wives are committed to investing the family budget profitably, while 64% of wives cited this as their main goal.

Another major study, released in 2021, found that in most households husbands are still considered the chief financial experts. This is especially true for very wealthy families.

Partners hide certain purchases from each other

There is a term in behavioral science called financial infidelity. It describes a situation where partners don't tell the truth about their money.

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Researchers identify 14 types of financial infidelity, including hiding real income and debts, uncoordinated airbag spending, secret accounts, hiding purchases, and not telling the truth about their value. Approximately 31% of spouses have at least one of these sins behind them. Psychologist Amy Rollo said that she has been visited by clients who felt cheated because of financial infidelity - for example, a partner's credit obligations were found out after the engagement or wedding.

And the most common types of financial infidelity are secret savings and hiding purchases or their real value. According to a study by Money magazine, women tend to hide the purchase of clothes and shoes and gifts for family and friends, while men hide gadgets and hobby products.

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The main reason for such lies is an attempt to avoid a quarrel. But even if a quarrel has not occurred, mistrust undermines relationships. According to financial consultants, the best solution in such a case is to agree with the partner on limits on personal purchases.


Lack of money - the main reason for divorce

In the U.S. for a long time, financial problems were listed as the main reason for divorce, but in recent years, they have moved into second place, giving way to adultery.

Although it may not be poverty itself that pushes people into divorce, but disagreement over how one's partner handles his or her money. A study of 4,500 couples found that fighting over money is an accurate predictor of divorce, whether or not the couple has faced real financial difficulties.

Why is money so important to marital well-being? Study co-author Sonia Britt says arguments about money are more emotional and intense than almost any other: people often use harsher language and the argument lasts longer. It also takes longer to recover from such conflicts.


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Credit often destroys relationships

Another challenge for couples is credit. As financial psychologist Joy Lehr explains, credit is a great stressor in itself, but it often exacerbates many other problems in a relationship. Especially if repayment requires sacrifice on the part of the partner rather than the borrower himself.

Surveys show that partner debt is a common cause for anxiety. But the level of worry also depends on what the loan is for.

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If it's tuition, a mortgage, or a car loan, most spouses will be sympathetic: the money is not wasted. However, you should be more careful with the latter. 92% of respondents would rather date a man with a modest car and no debts than someone who has an expensive car and a large monthly payment.

The list of debts that spouses are unlikely to understand includes payday loans, which are taken from microfinance institutions at high interest rates.

Budgeting skills and frugality are sexy

An Ally Bank study of 1,000 people found that financial literacy and the ability to save money are very attractive traits of a potential romantic partner. Fifty-five percent of respondents would like their husband or wife to have them. Ability to pay bills on time and frugality are also on the list of attractive traits.

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Another American study examining the relationship between financial and romantic goals of people of different generations came to similar conclusions. For millennials - those born between 1981 and 1996 - especially desirable qualities in a partner are the ability to set financial goals, stay within budget and be financially independent of parents or someone else.

Wealth sometimes ruins love

Absence of problems with money and a stable income above average increase the chances of meeting love. In this case, financial opportunities are converted into new social contacts, and therefore increase the chances of meeting the right person.

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But sometimes a high income becomes the cause of discord in a relationship. A team of psychologist Igor Grossman of the University of Waterloo conducted a study involving 2,500 people. Researchers tested how much wisdom in decisions and the ability to compromise depends on a person's income: it was found that rich people are less likely to show flexibility and empathy in relationships.

In all likelihood, this is due to the fact that people who have achieved financial success are initially more focused on achievement and status than on relationships and family. Flexibility is necessary for a relationship to satisfy both parties, but not all wealthy people make that a goal. They tend to have less fear of losing the relationship and are more likely to see their partner as replaceable. But this approach strikes not only the partners, but also themselves: it deprives the relationship of depth and trust.

Grossman believes that the rich are not doomed to constantly change partners, but it is important to develop tolerance for the imperfections of the other person, empathy and self-reflection, which will help to see your own mistakes.

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