The easiest way to express anger is through aggression. But its manifestation threatens problems in work and relationships, so many people simply suppress anger. Studies show that this is not the best tactic: If you don't let your negative emotions out, you can drive yourself to internal stress or depression. Here are safe and effective ways to deal with anger.
Speak politely but directly about the cause of your anger.
Often we feel anger in response to other negative emotions: fear, insecurity, frustration, or the feeling that we are being manipulated.
Such emotions are called secondary emotions. It is often easier for people to express and discuss them than to let their anger go. For example, if you are angry because a friend canceled a meeting at the last minute and you feel like nobody needs you, tell him or her about it without blaming and using the "I-speak." That is, "I felt like I didn't need anyone and I was lonely." That way you let the other person know what's going on with you and don't get into a raised tone.
✍️ Describe your emotions
Another way to express anger is to describe it and what triggers it. In psychology, this is called writing practice. It is considered very effective for dealing with negative emotions. Experiments have shown that when we put emotions into words, it helps to get rid of them, or at least reduce their intensity.
When doing this exercise, try not to hold back: forget about the rules, don't pick up the words, don't think about the structure. Just give yourself free rein and write - until you feel better
🤡 Think about funny things
It doesn't always work to just laugh at a problem when you're really angry. It can, on the contrary, fuel more anger. But humor does help to calm down, if you connect the imagination: for example, imagine a colleague who made you angry as a fat raccoon or a talking rock. Every time he commits a stupid act, you can play in your head this image.
Often subject to anger are people who believe that everything should be as they want it to be. Once you recognize this tendency in yourself, you can start imagining yourself as the supreme deity - it's hard to do so in an ironic way. Use this image to bring yourself down from heaven to earth and calm down a bit
🥊 Release physical tension
If the situation does not allow you to express your anger verbally, psychologists recommend getting rid of it physically, any way that is safe for you and others.
For example, with the help of high-intensity exercises: crossfit, running or boxing. Or with dancing. It is known that physical activity helps to reduce the level of stress hormones. They are produced in large quantities when we are angry and do not let the nervous system calm down
👤 Stimulate the vagus
The vagus nerve is responsible for, among other things, relaxation. The easiest way to stimulate it is to breathe deeply with your lower abdomen. But when you're feeling claustrophobic inside, it's not easy to make yourself just breathe. So those who are angry should combine deep breaths and exhalations with movement.
Go to yoga, for example. There is evidence that it reduces the level of internal tension more effectively than walking in the fresh air. Most importantly, as you take another pose, imagine your anger coming out of you with each breath
🌿 Take a hike
Long walks in nature - hiking in the woods or mountains - are effective in releasing internal stress caused by anger.
In addition, when hiking, we get a shocking dose of exercise, during which we actively breathe. The combination of these factors helps to release negative emotions without harming ourselves and others
😱 Don't scream
Yelling is a popular way to express your anger. But according to psychologists, it is ineffective. And it may even be harmful.
When we yell, our stress level - and the person next to us - increases. As a result, we become even angrier, and those around us become nervous. All of this can easily lead to an ugly and unconstructive fight.
Tears are a natural way for humans to express negative emotions and get rid of them.
Studies show that when we cry, our brain increases levels of oxytocin and prolactin. They help to calm down and feel better.
It is better to cry in an environment that is comfortable for you - where you can let yourself go. For example, in the shower. It will be easier for you to let out all the anger and pain you have accumulated.